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You know what the worst part about being crazy is? Knowing that you're crazy. And knowing that your life really isn't the worst, that its really NOT the end of the fucking world, but still feeling slightly suicidal, like your whole life is kind of fucking pointless? That you haven't accomplished and probably will never accomplish anything so like, why the fuck even bother? And then thinking about what you just thought and feeling guilty for thinking that way because jesus fucking christ, you privileged little white bitch, be more of a cunt why don't you. There are so many people worse off than you. And then just wanting to dig a hole and bury yourself alive because even YOU can't stand yourself anymore.
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Date: 2010-09-28 08:02 pm (UTC)Actually, fuck that: this month is. Maybe even this year but I don't want to think on that scale because it becomes hard to pinpoint when exactly everything started being shit.
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Date: 2010-09-28 08:21 pm (UTC)That. And I feel like I've been saying that for the last ten years. So its more like, my life is fired. But that line of thinking sends me down the path of the blah blah blah above, so I try not to think that far. BASICALLY I'm trying to figure out how to stop thinking. That would be ace.