![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
withimpunityTitle: That’s the Whole Point, Right?
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: Adult
Words: 2861
Disclaimer: This is not trufax. Probably.
Summary: “Uh.” Jensen laughs nervously as Jared pushes his t-shirt up his torso. “Surprise?”
It starts on a Wednesday. Big, juicy steaks and tequila shots at Gotham in their own private room in the back, chilling with Rosie and Tom, shooting the shit, eating, drinking, and being too merry for their own fucking good.
Some people, Jensen thinks, just don’t know when to stop being fucking merry.
***
“What’s the matter with you?”
Jensen gives a non-committal answer, something like “nothing,” or “I’m fine.” Jared doesn’t actually hear him, but he figures his guess is pretty accurate since those are the only two phrases Jensen’s spoken since they left Gotham three hours ago.
“Fine. Great. I’m going to bed.”
Jensen mumbles something as the water runs and he squeezes a dollop on toothpaste on his toothbrush. If Jared were a betting man, he’d put five hundred down on “nothing,” or “I’m fine.”
He falls asleep to Animal Planet with Jensen at the desk in the corner, going over his lines even though Jared knows its just an excuse. He wakes up at three am and Jensen’s asleep at the desk, lines on his face where his glasses have slipped and dug into his skin. Jared stares at him for a few minutes before pulling the comforter off the bed and goes to sleep on the couch.
***
Jared nails every line like he’s been memorizing them since birth. Jensen hits every mark, every cue, delivers every line with such intensity he gets a near compliment from Bob Singer, which. Yeah.
Jared is his normal, happy-shiny self on set. He switches Kim’s green tea lemonade with Eric’s triple shot espresso, lets the makeup girls put lipstick and eyeliner on him and document it with pictures, takes Sadie and Harley for a walk when they break for lunch and ends up having to pull them off one of the guest stars.
“I’m glad you two are professional,” Eric says, and where the fuck did he even come from? “But you need to work out whatever shit is going on.”
Jensen gives him a vacant, I’m-sure-I-have-no-idea-what-you’re-talking-about look, but Eric knows actors, and he ain’t buying it. “Everyone knows you’re fucking, Jensen. Deal with it.”
Then he’s gone, the same way he appeared. Out of fucking nowhere.
Jared’s laughing and rolling around in the muted gray Vancouver dirt with his dogs and Jensen wants to throw the hot coffee in his hand right in his stupid, happy face. Instead, he goes to tan.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Jeanie asks when he walks into the trailer. His answer?
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
***
For two hours he watches Jared intentionally flub his lines, put bunny eyes on Kim Manners, and be a general ass. He’s showing off for the new girl and its making Jensen physically ill. It reminds him too much of that time they filmed with Taylor Cole, before they’d figured out this thing between them, when Jared was still with Sandy.
Jensen replays that last thought. When Jared was still with Sandy. Jared was in a relationship and he was still pretty much all over another girl. Jensen’s fingers curl into a tight fist as his stomach flips around inside of him, and he blinks away the wetness in the corner of his eyes.
The next scene they have together is a fight scene. Dean’s pissed as hell because Sam went off and asked another demon for help. Sam thinks they can use them and he’s still talking about trying to reactivate his own demonic blood. Jared’s in the middle of a line trying to convince Dean that he didn’t do anything, he was just talking, when Jensen pulls back and hits him in the face.
His knuckles are bloody, hand hanging limp by his side when Jared turns back to face him, pressing the back of his hand beneath his bloody nose, completely speechless for once.
“I’m done.” Jensen mutters, wiping the blood on his jeans as he walks off set.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Eric says. “Wrap. That’s a wrap.”
***
“Jesus, Jensen!” Jared hit’s the bedroom wall with his fist. “Quit being such a dick and just talk to me, dammit!”
“Sure, let’s talk.” Jensen snaps bluntly, dropping his bag on the bed. “Do you want to do this anymore?”
Jared looks shellshocked. When he tries to reply, he stammers, which apparently doesn’t go over too well with Jensen. “What are you talking about? Y-yeah, of course I do. Dammit, wait!” Jared chases after Jensen as he angrily grabs his bag and storms past him into the living room.
“Fuck you!” Jensen spats, yanking the pictures frames of his family off the mantel . “I’m done waiting, man. I’ve waited and I’ve waited and I’ve fucking waited, Jared. I’ve waited for you to figure out that this is real, that’s its not just some fun fucking game. I love you and you, you just don’t know what you want. So fuck you, and fuck the show, because I’m fucking done. I can’t…I just can’t anymore.”
***
Jared’s standing on the front porch, staring off down the street where Jensen’s taillights disappeared out of sight some two hours ago. His feet hurt from standing so long and his eyes hurt from being open for so long, and his heart, it hurts too.
He should be crying, he thinks, and wonders why he’s not. He cried when he broke up with Sandy. He cried when Jenna Bishop dumped him in seventh grade and she was the first girl he loved. Well, liked.
That’s just it, Jared thinks. He does. He really loves Jensen. He knows every little thing about him, every stupid detail, every motherfucking freckle on his stupid, gorgeous face and now he’s gone and Jared doesn’t feel anything except empty. And cold. He thinks about going back inside where the heater is, but the thought doesn’t stick. He sits down on the top step because his legs are wobbling, threatening to give out on him, and he waits.
He hopes it doesn’t take too long, whatever it is he’s waiting on.
***
“You look like hell, baby boy.” Chris ruffles Jensen’s hair when he and Steve arrive and Steve slides into the booth next to Jensen and throws an arm around him.
“You drunk enough yet?” He asks, but his eyes say are you okay?
Jensen just shakes his head and kills another Shiner, orders another round for the table, oh and some Tequila, don’t forget the goddamn fucking limes.
“Wanna talk about it?” Chris asks, which puts Jensen off a little, pulls him out of his numbness for a second because Chris asking him to talk about his feelings is like Jared turning down a tray of candy.
Jared.
Fuck.
“Hey, man. Seriously. You okay?” Steve asks again, the actual words this time, and that’s how Jensen knows its bad. He throws back a shot glass full of Tequila, hoping he can get ass drunk quick enough, before he starts crying and blubbering like the bitch Jared’s turned him into.
“Can we just.” He makes a vague motion with his hand that neither Chris or Steve understand, but they know what Jensen needs anyway.
“Yeah, man.” Chris grins, chasing a tequila shooter with his beer. The bottom of the glass clinks solidly against the table when he sets it down. “I know a real good place, Jen. You’re gonna fuckin’ die.”
Jensen doesn’t really feel like going out. He wants to tell Chris that some high class titty bar isn’t going to make everything better, but he’s an actor, and what do actors do besides try to be someone else? That’s his plan for tonight. He’s not sure about tomorrow night, or the night after that, or the week after that, but for tonight he just wants to go out with his friends, get drunk, and have a good time. He just wants to forget about the gaping hole inside of him. Maybe filling it with something else is just what he needs.
Tonight, the role of a straight man will be played by Jensen Ackles.
This is what he does.
***
Her name is Rhona and she is definitely pretty, in that sex on legs, top heavy sort of way. Apparently Chris, or it could’ve been Steve, slipped her some cash as soon as they walked in, because she hasn’t left Jensen alone in an hour.
“You look sad,” She purrs next to his ear over the loud bass as she sways her hips for him. Jensen wonders if there’s even words to this song, or if its just loud, thumping bass that makes your blood want to curdle.
“Now why would I be sad?” He twists his mouth into a delicious grin as he slides his hands around Rhona’s hips and pulls her into his lap. “I can’t think of a reason, can you?”
“Sure can’t,” Rhona smiles as her hips gyrate, her tight little leather-clad ass rubbing against his dick. Jensen closes his eyes and lets it happen, lets his hands roam over her smooth skin and curves, tries to let it feel good.
It’d be so easy to be this guy, Jensen thinks. Be so easy to just fuck girls, fuck ‘em and leave ‘em, no complications, no commitment. He could be that guy.
“Not paying attention to me,” Rhona sticks out her lip in a sexy pout, bracing herself with her hands on Jensen’s shoulders. Jensen tries to think about her mouth and how good it would feel on his cock, and before he realizes what he’s doing, his fingers are curled around the back of her neck and her mouth is on his, wet and sticky sweet. He can taste the apple flavored lipgloss on his lips and tries not to gag. She traces the outline of his mouth with her tongue and Jensen’s fingers dig into her thighs as he parts his lips. She goes slow, dipping her tongue inside, tracing the contours of his mouth, tickling the tip of his tongue as she grinds down on him.
“I can’t,” Jensen breaks away abruptly, dumping her on the floor as he stands up. “Oh, god.”
He doesn’t think he’ll make it to the bathroom, so he heads for the nearest exit and ends up puking his guts out in front of about fifty people waiting to get in the club. They applaud.
Chris tries pulling him up off the ground and Jensen takes a swing at him. Thankfully, he’s too drunk and misses him by a mile.
“Oh god,” he sobs and spins around, punching the first thing he sees, which just so happens to be the side of the brick building.
Steve catches him when he falls.
***
Jared doesn’t remember sleeping, but he must have because there’s a patch of drool on the couch cushion under his face and its light out. He remembers finally going back inside the house, the clock reading one thirty-six in neon green numbers, and knowing that he could not sleep in their bed.
Now it’s eight thirty in the morning and he can’t hear Jensen’s voice bouncing off the walls in the shower, singing some song he just made up. He can’t smell freshly brewed coffee from the kitchen or hear Jensen’s morning play list, the one Jared made to help him get going in the mornings, seeping out of the bedroom.
He has no idea where Jensen is and he can’t remember the last time he could say that.
Jared gets off the couch because he has to take a piss. His legs move, right, left, right, left, but he doesn’t feel like he’s doing it. He feels like a zombie, like a dead person walking around in a Jared suit. He’s not Jared anymore, because he’s been with Jensen for so long, he doesn’t know who he used to be. That person doesn’t exist anymore.
Jared washes his hands methodically. Squirt, lather, rinse, towel dry, and when he walks out of the bathroom, he just knows.
Jensen’s standing in the living room, thick layer of stubble shadowing his face, ghostly dark circles under his eyes, and Jared can smell the whiskey on his breath all the way across the room. He looks as hollow as Jared feels.
They just stand there, staring, like neither of them can believe the other is actually there. That he’s not just a mirage, a figment of their imagination.
“I can’t believe you did this to me!” Jared shouts suddenly and it startles them both. “You just left and you wouldn’t even talk to me, and I had no idea where you were, do you know how long its been since I didn’t know where you were all the time? A long fucking time, Jensen. Jesus, I thought. Fuck, I thought. You are such a fucking asshole!”
“I know.”
“I thought you were, you could’ve been dead and the last thing we said to each other was-” Jared stops mid-thought, what Jensen said finally catching up with him. “Wait. What?”
“I am an asshole.” Jensen replies, still a little hoarse. “So are you. Sometimes.”
Jared takes a step. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am.”
“I’m sorry,” Jensen says, tears pooling in his dry, red eyes, matching Jared’s step with one of his own. “It’s just, you-”
“Its just me?”
“Kind of, yes. The way you make me feel. God, I love you so much it fucking hurts, all right? And its fucking scary, sometimes. I think about how much I love you and how much I need you, and it scares the hell out of me, because then I see you flirting with everything on two legs and I get scared. I just. I can’t lose you, Jared.”
Jared feels like he’s being put back together again: brain, heart, soul. He closes the distance between them and wraps arms, legs, and body around Jensen like he’s trying to make them one person.
“Don’t-”
“I won’t. Promise.”
He hopes that means he succeeded.
***
Jensen blushes when Jared lays him out on their bed and starts stripping him. He pulls off Jensen’s pants first, lays kisses on each of Jensen’s knees, then reaches for his shirt.
“Uh.” Jensen laughs nervously as Jared pushes his t-shirt up his torso. “Surprise?”
Jared sits back on his knees and stares at his name, written in beautiful black ink across Jensen’s heart, and swallows.
“You’re mine,” he whispers awe-like, fingertips barely ghosting over the raised, reddened skin.. Jensen wraps his legs around Jared’s waist and pulls him down on top of him.
“Glad you’ve caught up with the rest of the class.”
***
“Jared.”
It’s never felt like this before, like Jared’s fingers aren’t just digging into his arms and legs, but sinking beneath the skin, touching him inside and out. His back arches as Jared pulls and pushes, featherlike kisses along his stubbly jaw, rough and possessive when he claims his mouth, thrusting his tongue inside Jensen’s mouth like he’s tasting him for the first time.
“Oh. God. Baby.” Jared groans, hair framing his face as he leans over Jensen and lifts him higher, pushing in ever deeper. He wants to crawl inside Jensen and never, ever leave, wants to melt into his body and stay there forever. His hair tickles the raised skin from Jensen’s fresh tattoo and Jensen shudders beneath him.
“So beautiful,” Jared murmurs, leaning down to trace each and every curvy letter with his tongue.
“Jared, god,” Jensen moans, raking his nails down Jared’s back, painting the tanned skin with streaks of pink.
“Can’t believe you did it,” Jared looks up at him, glances down at the tattoo on his chest, looks back up at him with equal parts lust and crazy, raw, un-diluted love in his eyes. “It’s forever, you know.”
“Yeah,” Jensen laces his fingers through Jared’s hair and kisses the corner of his mouth. “It is.”
***
“What the fucking Christ? What the hell am I supposed to do with this? What if we do a shirtless scene? And not just one of you, BOTH of you. Do you have any idea what kind of ratings we get when I strip Jared down? Jesus fucking…JEANIE!”
“What’s up, Eric?” Jeanie pops out, armed with a blow dryer.
“What,” He sighs, letting his head roll back, secretly wishing it would roll right off his fucking neck. “can you do about this?” His waves his hand vaguely, gesturing to the two bare chests standing before them.
Jeanie claps her hand over her mouth and giggles. Jensen blushes; Jared smacks his ass.
“Make-up, silly.” She tells Eric, who thinks her face is going to break open if she smiles any wider. “They can be covered up, definitely.”
“Thanks, Jeanie.” Eric sighs again, trying to see how dramatic he can sound apparently, and shakes his head. “Why me.”
***
It’s weird. Jared doesn’t stop being Jared, which means he doesn’t stop showing off and flirting with every guest star, craft service chick (or dude), or innocent looking P.A. that comes in his vicinity. It doesn’t bother Jensen like it used to.
He thinks it probably has something to do with the silver band on his finger.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: Adult
Words: 2861
Disclaimer: This is not trufax. Probably.
Summary: “Uh.” Jensen laughs nervously as Jared pushes his t-shirt up his torso. “Surprise?”
It starts on a Wednesday. Big, juicy steaks and tequila shots at Gotham in their own private room in the back, chilling with Rosie and Tom, shooting the shit, eating, drinking, and being too merry for their own fucking good.
Some people, Jensen thinks, just don’t know when to stop being fucking merry.
***
“What’s the matter with you?”
Jensen gives a non-committal answer, something like “nothing,” or “I’m fine.” Jared doesn’t actually hear him, but he figures his guess is pretty accurate since those are the only two phrases Jensen’s spoken since they left Gotham three hours ago.
“Fine. Great. I’m going to bed.”
Jensen mumbles something as the water runs and he squeezes a dollop on toothpaste on his toothbrush. If Jared were a betting man, he’d put five hundred down on “nothing,” or “I’m fine.”
He falls asleep to Animal Planet with Jensen at the desk in the corner, going over his lines even though Jared knows its just an excuse. He wakes up at three am and Jensen’s asleep at the desk, lines on his face where his glasses have slipped and dug into his skin. Jared stares at him for a few minutes before pulling the comforter off the bed and goes to sleep on the couch.
***
Jared nails every line like he’s been memorizing them since birth. Jensen hits every mark, every cue, delivers every line with such intensity he gets a near compliment from Bob Singer, which. Yeah.
Jared is his normal, happy-shiny self on set. He switches Kim’s green tea lemonade with Eric’s triple shot espresso, lets the makeup girls put lipstick and eyeliner on him and document it with pictures, takes Sadie and Harley for a walk when they break for lunch and ends up having to pull them off one of the guest stars.
“I’m glad you two are professional,” Eric says, and where the fuck did he even come from? “But you need to work out whatever shit is going on.”
Jensen gives him a vacant, I’m-sure-I-have-no-idea-what-you’re-talking-about look, but Eric knows actors, and he ain’t buying it. “Everyone knows you’re fucking, Jensen. Deal with it.”
Then he’s gone, the same way he appeared. Out of fucking nowhere.
Jared’s laughing and rolling around in the muted gray Vancouver dirt with his dogs and Jensen wants to throw the hot coffee in his hand right in his stupid, happy face. Instead, he goes to tan.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Jeanie asks when he walks into the trailer. His answer?
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
***
For two hours he watches Jared intentionally flub his lines, put bunny eyes on Kim Manners, and be a general ass. He’s showing off for the new girl and its making Jensen physically ill. It reminds him too much of that time they filmed with Taylor Cole, before they’d figured out this thing between them, when Jared was still with Sandy.
Jensen replays that last thought. When Jared was still with Sandy. Jared was in a relationship and he was still pretty much all over another girl. Jensen’s fingers curl into a tight fist as his stomach flips around inside of him, and he blinks away the wetness in the corner of his eyes.
The next scene they have together is a fight scene. Dean’s pissed as hell because Sam went off and asked another demon for help. Sam thinks they can use them and he’s still talking about trying to reactivate his own demonic blood. Jared’s in the middle of a line trying to convince Dean that he didn’t do anything, he was just talking, when Jensen pulls back and hits him in the face.
His knuckles are bloody, hand hanging limp by his side when Jared turns back to face him, pressing the back of his hand beneath his bloody nose, completely speechless for once.
“I’m done.” Jensen mutters, wiping the blood on his jeans as he walks off set.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Eric says. “Wrap. That’s a wrap.”
***
“Jesus, Jensen!” Jared hit’s the bedroom wall with his fist. “Quit being such a dick and just talk to me, dammit!”
“Sure, let’s talk.” Jensen snaps bluntly, dropping his bag on the bed. “Do you want to do this anymore?”
Jared looks shellshocked. When he tries to reply, he stammers, which apparently doesn’t go over too well with Jensen. “What are you talking about? Y-yeah, of course I do. Dammit, wait!” Jared chases after Jensen as he angrily grabs his bag and storms past him into the living room.
“Fuck you!” Jensen spats, yanking the pictures frames of his family off the mantel . “I’m done waiting, man. I’ve waited and I’ve waited and I’ve fucking waited, Jared. I’ve waited for you to figure out that this is real, that’s its not just some fun fucking game. I love you and you, you just don’t know what you want. So fuck you, and fuck the show, because I’m fucking done. I can’t…I just can’t anymore.”
***
Jared’s standing on the front porch, staring off down the street where Jensen’s taillights disappeared out of sight some two hours ago. His feet hurt from standing so long and his eyes hurt from being open for so long, and his heart, it hurts too.
He should be crying, he thinks, and wonders why he’s not. He cried when he broke up with Sandy. He cried when Jenna Bishop dumped him in seventh grade and she was the first girl he loved. Well, liked.
That’s just it, Jared thinks. He does. He really loves Jensen. He knows every little thing about him, every stupid detail, every motherfucking freckle on his stupid, gorgeous face and now he’s gone and Jared doesn’t feel anything except empty. And cold. He thinks about going back inside where the heater is, but the thought doesn’t stick. He sits down on the top step because his legs are wobbling, threatening to give out on him, and he waits.
He hopes it doesn’t take too long, whatever it is he’s waiting on.
***
“You look like hell, baby boy.” Chris ruffles Jensen’s hair when he and Steve arrive and Steve slides into the booth next to Jensen and throws an arm around him.
“You drunk enough yet?” He asks, but his eyes say are you okay?
Jensen just shakes his head and kills another Shiner, orders another round for the table, oh and some Tequila, don’t forget the goddamn fucking limes.
“Wanna talk about it?” Chris asks, which puts Jensen off a little, pulls him out of his numbness for a second because Chris asking him to talk about his feelings is like Jared turning down a tray of candy.
Jared.
Fuck.
“Hey, man. Seriously. You okay?” Steve asks again, the actual words this time, and that’s how Jensen knows its bad. He throws back a shot glass full of Tequila, hoping he can get ass drunk quick enough, before he starts crying and blubbering like the bitch Jared’s turned him into.
“Can we just.” He makes a vague motion with his hand that neither Chris or Steve understand, but they know what Jensen needs anyway.
“Yeah, man.” Chris grins, chasing a tequila shooter with his beer. The bottom of the glass clinks solidly against the table when he sets it down. “I know a real good place, Jen. You’re gonna fuckin’ die.”
Jensen doesn’t really feel like going out. He wants to tell Chris that some high class titty bar isn’t going to make everything better, but he’s an actor, and what do actors do besides try to be someone else? That’s his plan for tonight. He’s not sure about tomorrow night, or the night after that, or the week after that, but for tonight he just wants to go out with his friends, get drunk, and have a good time. He just wants to forget about the gaping hole inside of him. Maybe filling it with something else is just what he needs.
Tonight, the role of a straight man will be played by Jensen Ackles.
This is what he does.
***
Her name is Rhona and she is definitely pretty, in that sex on legs, top heavy sort of way. Apparently Chris, or it could’ve been Steve, slipped her some cash as soon as they walked in, because she hasn’t left Jensen alone in an hour.
“You look sad,” She purrs next to his ear over the loud bass as she sways her hips for him. Jensen wonders if there’s even words to this song, or if its just loud, thumping bass that makes your blood want to curdle.
“Now why would I be sad?” He twists his mouth into a delicious grin as he slides his hands around Rhona’s hips and pulls her into his lap. “I can’t think of a reason, can you?”
“Sure can’t,” Rhona smiles as her hips gyrate, her tight little leather-clad ass rubbing against his dick. Jensen closes his eyes and lets it happen, lets his hands roam over her smooth skin and curves, tries to let it feel good.
It’d be so easy to be this guy, Jensen thinks. Be so easy to just fuck girls, fuck ‘em and leave ‘em, no complications, no commitment. He could be that guy.
“Not paying attention to me,” Rhona sticks out her lip in a sexy pout, bracing herself with her hands on Jensen’s shoulders. Jensen tries to think about her mouth and how good it would feel on his cock, and before he realizes what he’s doing, his fingers are curled around the back of her neck and her mouth is on his, wet and sticky sweet. He can taste the apple flavored lipgloss on his lips and tries not to gag. She traces the outline of his mouth with her tongue and Jensen’s fingers dig into her thighs as he parts his lips. She goes slow, dipping her tongue inside, tracing the contours of his mouth, tickling the tip of his tongue as she grinds down on him.
“I can’t,” Jensen breaks away abruptly, dumping her on the floor as he stands up. “Oh, god.”
He doesn’t think he’ll make it to the bathroom, so he heads for the nearest exit and ends up puking his guts out in front of about fifty people waiting to get in the club. They applaud.
Chris tries pulling him up off the ground and Jensen takes a swing at him. Thankfully, he’s too drunk and misses him by a mile.
“Oh god,” he sobs and spins around, punching the first thing he sees, which just so happens to be the side of the brick building.
Steve catches him when he falls.
***
Jared doesn’t remember sleeping, but he must have because there’s a patch of drool on the couch cushion under his face and its light out. He remembers finally going back inside the house, the clock reading one thirty-six in neon green numbers, and knowing that he could not sleep in their bed.
Now it’s eight thirty in the morning and he can’t hear Jensen’s voice bouncing off the walls in the shower, singing some song he just made up. He can’t smell freshly brewed coffee from the kitchen or hear Jensen’s morning play list, the one Jared made to help him get going in the mornings, seeping out of the bedroom.
He has no idea where Jensen is and he can’t remember the last time he could say that.
Jared gets off the couch because he has to take a piss. His legs move, right, left, right, left, but he doesn’t feel like he’s doing it. He feels like a zombie, like a dead person walking around in a Jared suit. He’s not Jared anymore, because he’s been with Jensen for so long, he doesn’t know who he used to be. That person doesn’t exist anymore.
Jared washes his hands methodically. Squirt, lather, rinse, towel dry, and when he walks out of the bathroom, he just knows.
Jensen’s standing in the living room, thick layer of stubble shadowing his face, ghostly dark circles under his eyes, and Jared can smell the whiskey on his breath all the way across the room. He looks as hollow as Jared feels.
They just stand there, staring, like neither of them can believe the other is actually there. That he’s not just a mirage, a figment of their imagination.
“I can’t believe you did this to me!” Jared shouts suddenly and it startles them both. “You just left and you wouldn’t even talk to me, and I had no idea where you were, do you know how long its been since I didn’t know where you were all the time? A long fucking time, Jensen. Jesus, I thought. Fuck, I thought. You are such a fucking asshole!”
“I know.”
“I thought you were, you could’ve been dead and the last thing we said to each other was-” Jared stops mid-thought, what Jensen said finally catching up with him. “Wait. What?”
“I am an asshole.” Jensen replies, still a little hoarse. “So are you. Sometimes.”
Jared takes a step. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am.”
“I’m sorry,” Jensen says, tears pooling in his dry, red eyes, matching Jared’s step with one of his own. “It’s just, you-”
“Its just me?”
“Kind of, yes. The way you make me feel. God, I love you so much it fucking hurts, all right? And its fucking scary, sometimes. I think about how much I love you and how much I need you, and it scares the hell out of me, because then I see you flirting with everything on two legs and I get scared. I just. I can’t lose you, Jared.”
Jared feels like he’s being put back together again: brain, heart, soul. He closes the distance between them and wraps arms, legs, and body around Jensen like he’s trying to make them one person.
“Don’t-”
“I won’t. Promise.”
He hopes that means he succeeded.
***
Jensen blushes when Jared lays him out on their bed and starts stripping him. He pulls off Jensen’s pants first, lays kisses on each of Jensen’s knees, then reaches for his shirt.
“Uh.” Jensen laughs nervously as Jared pushes his t-shirt up his torso. “Surprise?”
Jared sits back on his knees and stares at his name, written in beautiful black ink across Jensen’s heart, and swallows.
“You’re mine,” he whispers awe-like, fingertips barely ghosting over the raised, reddened skin.. Jensen wraps his legs around Jared’s waist and pulls him down on top of him.
“Glad you’ve caught up with the rest of the class.”
***
“Jared.”
It’s never felt like this before, like Jared’s fingers aren’t just digging into his arms and legs, but sinking beneath the skin, touching him inside and out. His back arches as Jared pulls and pushes, featherlike kisses along his stubbly jaw, rough and possessive when he claims his mouth, thrusting his tongue inside Jensen’s mouth like he’s tasting him for the first time.
“Oh. God. Baby.” Jared groans, hair framing his face as he leans over Jensen and lifts him higher, pushing in ever deeper. He wants to crawl inside Jensen and never, ever leave, wants to melt into his body and stay there forever. His hair tickles the raised skin from Jensen’s fresh tattoo and Jensen shudders beneath him.
“So beautiful,” Jared murmurs, leaning down to trace each and every curvy letter with his tongue.
“Jared, god,” Jensen moans, raking his nails down Jared’s back, painting the tanned skin with streaks of pink.
“Can’t believe you did it,” Jared looks up at him, glances down at the tattoo on his chest, looks back up at him with equal parts lust and crazy, raw, un-diluted love in his eyes. “It’s forever, you know.”
“Yeah,” Jensen laces his fingers through Jared’s hair and kisses the corner of his mouth. “It is.”
***
“What the fucking Christ? What the hell am I supposed to do with this? What if we do a shirtless scene? And not just one of you, BOTH of you. Do you have any idea what kind of ratings we get when I strip Jared down? Jesus fucking…JEANIE!”
“What’s up, Eric?” Jeanie pops out, armed with a blow dryer.
“What,” He sighs, letting his head roll back, secretly wishing it would roll right off his fucking neck. “can you do about this?” His waves his hand vaguely, gesturing to the two bare chests standing before them.
Jeanie claps her hand over her mouth and giggles. Jensen blushes; Jared smacks his ass.
“Make-up, silly.” She tells Eric, who thinks her face is going to break open if she smiles any wider. “They can be covered up, definitely.”
“Thanks, Jeanie.” Eric sighs again, trying to see how dramatic he can sound apparently, and shakes his head. “Why me.”
***
It’s weird. Jared doesn’t stop being Jared, which means he doesn’t stop showing off and flirting with every guest star, craft service chick (or dude), or innocent looking P.A. that comes in his vicinity. It doesn’t bother Jensen like it used to.
He thinks it probably has something to do with the silver band on his finger.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 09:46 pm (UTC)*flail*
no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 10:49 pm (UTC)if they don't have them already(like on their wrists maybe)?no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 10:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-19 01:04 am (UTC)I'LL BE BACK WHEN I CAN WRITE THINGS.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 03:31 am (UTC)At first it was a lil hurty.
Stupid boys never talking about their feelings.
But then it was all YAY! Tattoos! And rings!
*flails*
no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 03:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-29 08:55 pm (UTC)Sooo, I kinda tripped over here on accident by a rec, and I'm pretty much always late to the party, but I'd kinda like to stay and keep reading. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-29 09:05 pm (UTC)