withimpunity | textsfromlastnight

textsfromlastnight

(734):

Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.

(1-734):

Haha did she know what fisting meant?

(734):

Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself

AHAHAH how did TFLN know I needed a hardcore laugh tonight? Epic.

This post brought to you by the awesomest prompt at

comment_fic thus far.

Who wants to play? Comment here and I'll give you a Text From Last Night and you give me comment fic. Whee!

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I just tracked your first request and a couple from random people, fucking hilarious.

You can try me, but I probably can't. I'm really mostly certain I'm not gonna be good at writing for the SPN fandom. I've only done on Jared/Jensen before haha.

WHAT. Why haven't you written Sam/Dean before?

OMG I love this one roflrofl.

I guess I don't feel close enough to them. I don't want to butcher them to pieces, haha.

OMG LMAO

http://tfl.nu/ux4f

Wtf, lol.... oh dear.

" On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible." - LOLOL.

I am actually still looking for one for you.

Okay, tbh, sometimes I wish I were these people. That's freaking fantastic.

HAHAHA I KNOW RIGHT. My life, how boring! How lame!

(807): yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd http://tfl.nu/28g8

hahahahaaha oh Buffy. omg lol forever.

wait was that my prompt?

NOPE! Haha, just awesome. Still looking. I'll know it when I see it. Honestly I'm just trying to find one that isn't about throwing up.

I HAVE FOUND THE ONE.

http://tfl.nu/kjun

Really, write whoever you want to. I was thinking Joe and Nick though.

You wanna throw one at me, go for it.

I'll be back in a few minutes to write it! (I love you for offering me a Joe/Nick prompt)

Well, I won't torture you by asking you to write something you aren't comfortable with! Even though I think you could write some kickass Sam and Dean. HINT.

Sam has a hand on his hip and his head tilted to one said as he sighs. "Dean." His older brother rolls his shoulders back, and then his eyes when Sam doesn't stop giving him that self-righteous look.

"Dude, did you forget who we are? I know you're trying to make up for the whole demon thing, but this is how we get by. Now c'mon. Get in the car."

He'd just watched his brother stuff a blue, two-tart package of strawberry poptarts into his back pocket inside the gas station, sliding it in like a 9mm. Sam had tried to pull it out, put it back, or at least put it on the counter to pay for, but then Dean had ground out a purposeful, "Not in public, Sammy. There might be children."

It had, of course, stopped Sam's attempts as he gave a frustrated look at the back of his brother's head before smiling, embarrassed, at the older woman on the other side of the doughnut stand. When they stepped up to the counter, side by side, to put a twenty on tank three, Dean was smirking like the rat-bastard he is.

"Don't you think that was just a little childish?"

"Of course I do. I believe, Sam, that God encourages his People to be child-like."

Sam shoots Dean his best look of incredulity, moving his hands from his pockets to the hood of the car as Dean pulls the nozzle over to the gas pump. "Okay, I really don't think Jesus ever told anyone to steal poptarts. God, how much were they anyway? A buck?"

"Eighty-five cents." Dean corrects him, smiling triumphantly, a little swagger in the way he moves his head back and forth.

"Right." Sam says, eyes widening for a moment. He clears his throat and lets his body weight sit firmly on the car. "And that would've been so difficult for us to pay."

"That's my boy! Now you're getting it, Sammy. It was barely anything. They won't even miss it." Sam just shakes his head cause, seriously? "Get in the car," Dean tells him again as he closes the little door at the side of the impala. When he actually looks up at Sam, hand under the handle of his side, he knows what that look is.

"Are you really gonna be a baby about this? You wanna go in there and tell her your older brother, who she probably heard you were trying to be inappropriate with, stole some poptarts, and then pay her a damn eighty-five cents? Oh, oh excuse me, plus tax. Come on Sam."

Dean's smirking, again, behind the wheel as they drive off, his stolen poptarts sitting at his side. "Now don't you think you can eat those while I'm not looking. I stole 'em fair and square." Sam snorts, but he doesn't touch Dean's poptarts, still unpaid for.

Edited 2010-05-18 08:04 (UTC)

Gurl, you had me at " sliding it in like a 9mm."

STFU about OOC and not knowing them well enough or w/e you were blabbing about. This was great! Not out of character in the least. Besides, this is Spn fandom we're talking about. The place is practically held up by AU's. xD

Haha, thank you sweetheart <3 That's so nice to hear. I sincerely appreciate that.

how adorbs?

Uh, probably one of the most adorable things ever.

Alright I tried, but if it's OOC, I don't take blame.

Kay this is just the best thing I've ever heard:

and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

OH MAN I WANNA ENGRAVE THAT ON SOMETHING.

I feel like whoever that text was from deserves to be ruler of the free world.

Whenever they give away the internet, this person wins it.

Exactly.

Tell me you've seen this one

(214):

dude. I'm so drunk.
(972):

pete, this is bryce's mom
(214):

I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972):

pete, this is still bryce's mom

OH. OH SHIT.

You need to permalink me that right the hell now. That. That is fucking gold.

Oh God LOL, I HAVE TO DO THIS TO SOMEONE.

http://tfl.nu/q25u

Lol when I saw that last night all I kept thinking was "god I wish someone would do that to me ~~I never get texted anyway lmao oops~~ so I'd offer my phone if I could put it through the computer screen!

re: Parmalinking, apparently I don't know how to do that. I tried last night but it wouldn't let me without deviating from the page and I'm paranoid about losing my place, lol

I kind of want to do it to myself. Put my sister in as Bella Swan, my mom as Voldemort, my husband as Ass-but.

When you click the icon that looks like two little pages (to the left of "favorite" it stays on the same page, but gives you a box with the text to copy and a link.

LMAO... That's amazing. Do it.

Okay, thanks! Future reference, cause I don't know what that text is now.

(630): I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important

http://tfl.nu/7wts

OH! AWWW!!! That might have killed me.

I know! Guh, so cute.

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textsfromlastnight

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not your prompt, but omg

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o/t like whoa

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Too adorable for words:

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