withimpunity | (no subject)

Colin curled his fingers around the banister and closed his eyes. When he inhaled through his nose he could smell smoke from the barbecue and tanning lotion. When he exhaled, he felt like crumbling in on himself, finding a hole and hiding it in for the next few hours. He could not think of a reason why he thought going to this party would be a good idea - Colin was agoraphobic, claustrophobic, you name it, he had it. Apparently someone had suggested the only way he could overcome his fears was to face them head on and deal with them directly. He was so firing his therapist on Monday.

There were just so many people and someone - a girl - even tried talking to him and Colin had said something really stupid about her shirt and she just sort of looked at him weird and walked off. He couldn't help but stare at everyone else, laughing and smiling and having such a good fucking time, something he would never, has never, been able to do. He hated them all for that, for being able to be walk and talk like normal, functioning people, and he didn't care how stupid that sounded.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Shit. He couldn't handle another person trying to make conversation with him, not while he was finding it hard enough to breath or, you know, stand upright. He just wanted to go home and have a drink and a Xanax - okay, one or the other, whatever. Colin took a deep breath and looked over at the guy standing next to him. He was wearing an old, ragged ball cap with sweat stains around the bill and his curly hair was peeking out behind his ears. He was at least an inch taller than Colin and he looked - he looked a little worried, actually. God, was it that apparent?

"Yeah," Colin said shakily, clearing his throat as if that might help. He tried to offer the guy a smile but he figured he probably just ended up looking like a stroke victim. "I'm fine. Thanks, though."

"I saw Carly talking to you," He said, leaning against the railing on his elbows. He was wearing a tank top and there were freckles peppered all over his shoulders and a few dotting his cheekbones. "She has that effect on lots of guys, don't feel bad." He winked and Colin felt his skin warm, quickly blaming it on the sun and not the way the guy's lips curved when he did it.

"She was...okay," Colin laughed nervously - it was weird, something about talking to this guy didn't make him want to throw up or turn tail and run away as fast as he could. "I just needed some air."

Curly-haired guy took a sip from the beer can in his hand and crushed it. "C'mon, I was just about to go walk down by the beach and pick a fight with a jellyfish."

He started to walk off and when he reached the steps, he looked back at Colin, pulled his shades down over his eyes and asked, "You comin' or not?"

Colin inhaled - he could smell salty seawater and Curly's cologne. "Sure," He grinned, his own voice sounding foreign to him, and he was following this guy, whose name he didn't even know, and feeling better than he had all day. His life was so weird.

Yes, I write through my issues. What's your point?