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I'm pretty sure I want Marti/Savannah/Dan fic where Savannah is like "OMG Marti! I want to have pre-marital sex with Dan but its SCARY. I want you to be there!" And Marti is like "What lol" but its not like she hasn't had a threesome before, not even like she hasn't had a threesome with DAN before, so she agrees to supervise and is all very Bossy and Giving Directions.

She'd tell Dan to be gentle but not TOO gentle and she'd tell Savannah the spots on Dan that make him howl and how he likes it when you pull his hair and bite his throat. And Savannah would be like, "You've had sex with Dan?!" And Marti would just shrug and be like, "Before my vibrator came in. He is occasionally useful." And Savannah would get so caught up in it and she just thinks Marti is SO PRETTY that she'd want to kiss her and then kissing would lead to more touching and Dan Patch is just kind of sitting back on his heels watching them make out and he Doesn't Mind At All. Then Savannah's like, "Oh, we forgot about Dan. *giggle*" And Dan's like, "That's...that's all right. Please continue. I'll pay you to continue." And Marti blushes and says no, this is their time. Next time, though. Next time.

I've been insatiably horny for like A WEEK. *hands* This is getting ridiculous.

Britt's SERIOUS FELONY BUSINESS face is the best face EVER. Oh my god, so hot. And there's just something about Hank's coolness with Britt's epic breaking and entering skills that is even HOTTER. Its hard to explain. I'm sure you understand. Katie continues to be fucking awesome. So is Hank's SISTER! Conjugal visits! Aaand they're in some deep shit now. AGAIN. Holy crap, dudes.

My favorite part of this ep: All the leaning Britt did. I'M EASY, I KNOW THIS. (More later, after a second viewing I'm sure.)

Random shit:

1. Every morning when I get home from taking my kids to school I'm just glad that my house didn't catch fire while I was gone. EVERY DAY.

2. My mom is home from the hospital and is doing better. Hurray!

3. There have been way too many sad stories about kids/teens getting bullied and committing suicide lately and its making it hard for me to STOP CRYING. Stupid world, stop being stupid. :(

4. Related: My dad literally has Foxnews on 24/7. When I visited my mom in the hospital, he had the room tv on foxnews. I went to visit last night, Foxnews. Its like he's afraid if he turns the channel he'll miss the next big thing he should be scared of. And THAT'S frightening. 

5. I should eat something, hm?

6. Someone write me Brad being ridic possessive of Ray. Like, getting super possessive when other people (men or ladies) even LOOK at Ray, and if they touch him at all Brad goes NUTS.

An hour later...

7. Still haven't eaten. *gets on that before she passes out*
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